Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We don't watch enough power rangers
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize