Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
the day after is always just damage control
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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