id be glad to
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
