Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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