Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
