So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize