he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
