I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
