Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
