Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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