all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
