i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Randomize
