Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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