normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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