Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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