i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
