Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize