Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
