He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Two words: nipple clamps
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