Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize