We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
