i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize