I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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