I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize