He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Dicks are not precious.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
