I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
