dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
