I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
