Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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