Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
