There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize