Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
