This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
