i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
