Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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