you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
