My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
