brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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