Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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