hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
