i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize