drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
