i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
