Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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