So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
