..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
