i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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