He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
