Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
