so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
