Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
