What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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