Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
there was a trapeze. enough said
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
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