Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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