Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize