You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
