Your dad touched me again.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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