So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize