And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
