Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
