you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
