Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
