just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
