your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
