Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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