so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
