when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
