two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
