so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
