We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
