she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
