Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
